I used to be the first one to instruct people to refrain from judgement. Now I kinda realise just how wrong it was to say such a thing. Judgement is not a thing that you could actually refrain from – when it appears in your head, from that moment on, it already exists. It’s actually irrelevant whether it’s been expressed or not – the moment it flickers through your mind, it’s already happened. Trying to refrain from judgement is the same thing as denying yourself freedom to think your own thoughts or have your own feelings.
So, I corrected myself and instead I now say – use judgement. Turn it into a self-reflection tool. Treat it as an indicator that helps you reveal the wounds in you that need healing. Whenever you’re feeling judgemental about someone’s looks, ideas or behaviour, or whatever else it may be, ask yourself – what do you have within that resonates with that external factor. And you might just come across something that you are not quite in peace with yourself. Don’t refrain from judgement – employ it. Make it work for you. Use it to advance your knowledge of yourself. Judgement is not a bad thing as long as you’re mindful about it. As long as you know that it’s about you and not about the other. That the source of it is within.
We only live and learn and I’m a slow learner, thus the things I am talking about will seem obvious to some. Comprehending it, though, is a very different thing than actually living by it. Trying to apply this little shift in perspective, hard as it is, has made a massive difference in my daily life. Judgement can either become your fiercest enemy or a faithful friend. It’s up to you to decide which role do you choose for it. I choose the latter.